Corporate Drop-Out

I quit my job. Actually, I quit my job two weeks ago. I. Quit. My. Job. Without. Another. Job. Lined. Up.

(30 minutes later)

Sorry, I’m back. I typed that statement and had to fan myself a little so I won’t pass out. Maybe in a month or so I can say that without feeling faint. I’ve worked since I was 18 years old. I’ve NEVER not had a job. I work until I’m bored or don’t feel challenged, and I move on to another job that pays significantly more. It’s who I am. My identity has always been wrapped up in a job. Success and money are two things I started chasing at a young age. Yet, here I sit. I’ll be officially considered unemployed tomorrow. That statement is so heavy and overwhelming, but at the same time pretty comical. (que my weird sense of humor)

Quitting my fancy pharma job wasn’t a rash decision. This has been in the works for years now. I’ve never felt like this is what I’m meant to do. I’ve struggled and been miserable more often than I’ve felt content. I pray and ask God for guidance, and through so many situations that are out of my hands, He has allowed me to stay in this position. (even though I prayed for just the opposite) I put my head down, work, and understand that there are seasons of life that aren’t perfect. God never promised us that life would be rainbows, sprinkles, and butterflies. I accepted that this was a season of sharpening and growing, and man on man, what a season it has been.

I fully understand that the experience I’ve gained at this job is invaluable. I firmly stand on the fact that I’ve worked with THE sharpest and most talented group of professionals around. I always knew that everything I was learning would benefit me later in a career that made me happy, and that’s what I’ve clinged to. Now, I’m stepping into it.

I wish I could adequately express in words the turmoil I felt leading up to this decision. As time goes by, the less I’m able to identify with those feelings and so I’m trying to get it all down on paper now.

I think God didn’t remove me from this situation earlier on because I wasn’t ready to move on yet, and later because he wanted to see if I would lay it down. I oftentimes find myself leaning on God to just snap his fingers and make things happen for me. When you do it that way, you’re never forced to make a decision, right? You just hand it all over to Him and say “You do the dirty work, God.” There’s a lot less growth involved on our end when we handle things like this. I ultimately felt like God was waiting for me to trust Him instead of putting my faith into a nice paycheck. I’ve heard it my entire life “Money can’t buy happiness”, but I think the more appropriate quote for me in this season of life should have been “Money won’t comfort you the way the Lord can”.

I’ve had so many incredible confirmations since I ultimately made the leap. People saying things to me, randomly reaching out who have no context as to what’s going on. One day I’ll write about all of these incredible events. But for now, I have PEACE. I can’t describe the peace that has overcome my heart and mind.

This is unchartered territory for me. I don’t know what’s next. Sure, I have desires in my heart and areas that I’m interested in, but I don’t have a clear cut path. I keep telling myself that I’m not starting from scratch, but I’m starting from EXPERIENCE. This is a wild journey guys, but I’m so thankful I made this decision now rather than 10 years down the road. Listen to God. Let him tug at your heart a little. There’s probably hard decisions He’s asking all of us to make. I believe the reward will outweigh the hardships.

I wish I had a happy ending to report, but that’s to come later. Right now, I’m in the thick of this decision. It’s messy and a little confusing, which is why I wanted to share it now. Waiting for things to look perfect isn’t the way to live and share your life with others.

“Being scared doesn’t make us cowards. It’s how we respond to the fear. We all know people who have allowed their fears to stop them. We choose comfort over calling. Safety over significance. We choose to settle for ordinary because we’re afraid of what it will take to get to great.”

Here goes nothing…..